I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize