Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
