Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize