I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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