Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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