It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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