Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
last night I used snow as a chaser
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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