remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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