haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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