Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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