so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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