Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize