I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize