And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
