u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
