Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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