It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
