I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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