i just google imaged poop.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize