that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
