I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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