Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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