I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
