But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
