We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
