he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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