I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
