he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
