oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
