i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
