my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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