I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize