i just google imaged poop.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
