Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
