If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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