ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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