just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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