Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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