I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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