Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
