I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
