So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
