I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize