Sponge bath it is.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
