That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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