i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
