i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
