All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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