Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
