Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
