you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
