This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
