I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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