it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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