Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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