How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
