Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
